KristenStewartWantsIt recreation: I have no idea what Thor's powers are, and he fucking sucks

• I have no idea what Thor's powers are.

Thor can control his hammer. He can shoot lightning.
Did he get his powers from his dad or from Asgard or from where?
How strong is he? Is he stronger with or without the hammer? Is he stronger when he gets hit by lightning?
Are his flying powers limited? Great to know when he was on Asgard, flying powers or not there, when Loki fell from the bridge, flying powers or not!
They don't tell you, and more importantly in a film, they don't show you or put you into suspense as to how he gets his powers.

Was Thor ever popular when he was in the comics?
Outside of founding the Avengers?
(Speaking of which, in the films, he founds shit since Nick Fury does everything.)
This is important, because this Thor is a piece of shit, so not knowing anything about an unpopular character must have a huge payoff.

Furthermore:

• Thor's character sucks.

He doesn't have a character.
He hits things.
He uses his powers to start a war with the Frost Giants
He makes out with Princess Amidala.
He kills Frost Giants.
And he hits things.
That's all he does.
You want to talk about Star Wars since Queen Amidala is in the role, George Disney.
Fine, let's talk about the Red Letter Media analysis of Episode 1:

• Name the main character of Thor without describing their clothes or what they look like.
• Name the Joseph Campbell Hero's arc that the main characters go through

Other than saving the day, what does Thor learn?

KristenStewartWantsIt Thor Sucks recreation: Kenneth Branagh

Thor Sucks.

The End.

Ok, first of all, I have to say this. Whoever got him to take down that review is a huge fucking asshole. That review was hilarious and very informative on how you're supposed to write characters, not to mention a feature length $300 million movie that leads into one of the highest grossing films of all time. I am pissed.

• Kenneth Branagh

I'm trying to be fair here, because Kenneth Branagh is a rich million year old white guy from Engand who makes money off Shakespeare, ruining my middle school favorite comedy, Much Ado About Nothing, in addition to the crappiest book of Harry Potter.
Meanwhile, I'm a nerd geek who is not really making ends' meet in the most corrupt cities in the world known as New York City.
Ok, I'm not being fair, but Kenneth Branagh is an asshole so I don't give a shit. His fucking movie is garbage and he had every right to have been fired the franchise even though as much as I didn't like the second one, it was a huge improvement over what he was doing.

Happy 75th Anniversary: Marvel's Top 13 Films

13 Ghost Rider
12 DareDevil: The Director's Cut
11 Captain America: First Avenger and 
10 Ghost Rider: The Spirit of Vengeance
9 Captain America (1990)
8 The Wolverine
7 The Incredible Hulk
6 Blade
5 Hulk
4 X-Men: First Class
3 Spider-Man 2
2 X2
1 Iron Man

Happy 75th Anniversary: Batman Films

1. Batman Begins
2. Batman: The Mask of the Phantasm
3. The Dark Knight Returns
4. The Dark Knight
5. Batman: Gotham Knight
6. Batman: Under the Red Hood
7. Batman '89
8. Batman Forever
9. The Dark Knight Rises
10. Batman & Mr. Freeze: Sub Zero
11. Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
12. Justice League: The New Frontier
13. Batman & Robin
14. Batman '66
15. Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
16. Batman Returns
17. Catwoman

Happy 75th Anniversary: The 10 Worst Marvel Movies Made So Far

1. Howard the Duck: He wasn't witty. He wasn't well made despite being made by George Lucas. It was made in the US, whereas Star Wars had many production problems being all over the place.
2. Thor: You heard my rant.
3. Men in Black 2: I totally didn't get the ending sequence. They write off L for no reason. There's barely any extras in this obligatory sequel, making it very unexciting, when there's "chases."
4. Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer: It was boring. What the fuck do I give a shit about Jessica Alba getting married for?! I don't give a shit if Galactus is a cloud. They just didn't know how to make a film in general.
5. Fantastic Four (2005): It's not Jack Kirby. It's not Star Wars. It's not Spider-Man. It's boring.
6. The Amazing Spider-Man 2: It didn't make any sense.
7. Avengers: Overrated. A film that took 0 effort to make and copied Transformers 3 of all possible plots. I feel better giving poor robbers struggling to make ends meet money than this.
8. Thor: The Dark World: A very good improvement, but still has Natalie Portman in it.
9. Men in Black 3: I really liked the Flight of the Conchords guy, but honestly the TV show had a better plot than this. Josh Brolin is as awesome as always though.
10. The Amazing Spider-Man: There's a lot good with this film, like the acting. There's a lot wrong with this film. Marc Webb isn't really a sci fi type of guy. He needs more time to make the thing work.

Like many superhero movies, X-Men: Days of Future Past demonstrates that bad stories don't matter for blockbuster box offices

X-Men: Days of Future Past panders but it doesn't pander too much. A lot is told from exposition even more so than a Christopher Nolan film as there really aren't visuals for certain scenes, just actors acting in a horribly rushed manner in fear of fans not having patience for a long film, as well as producers fearing of smaller box office revenue as a result of less replay times in theatres. It would've been cool if there were single shots instead of soap opera camera shooting to fix this problem, but I dunno. Singer's not a terrible director like many others around, but he rushed a bit with this film.
X-Men is simple. Done over 11 years. 1 plot hole. 1 simple plot. Not a lot to complain about. Acceptable.
There's a lot of stuff to turn people away from the one year budget X-Men: Days of Future Past, but there's also a lot to keep them in. 2012 superhero films that put me off with this were Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises, but oh well.

It's sort of sad that we've gotten to the point where scripts don't make sense by themselves, as sequels and aren't even crack fiction, yet audiences allow directors to get away with it.
Fans did it for Thor, its sequel and Avengers, so we let them get by with it in X-Men, and its sad.
We don't really care about the stories.
They team up.
They have a lot of cast, letting 15,000 get jobs on this project, having a staff work on CGI for many futuristic towns or even the stadium.
That in itself is a good story and I really hope it makes it on DVD/Blu Ray extras.

Superior Spider-Wifebeater- I mean Spider-Man 20 by Scott Camuncoli and Dell Fabela sucks

The art is sorta sexy, but how sexy can it be when Black Cat loses a tooth, Mary Jane almost is eaten for food or beastality by a dog for no reason and Lady Octopus looks like Colossus for some odd reason.
The Day Gwen Stacy Died was one of the most epic stories in comic book history. It was a blockbuster event. It was memorable. It was controversial for all the good reasons.
This comic gives the impression that teens beating up pretty looking girls is acceptable.
And it's lazy.
People complain about Mark Millar's Kick-Ass for being juvenile, but at least it makes sense.
Gosh, this is terrible.